By Dionne Nicholls
Life Coach | Founder of "Live Your Best Life for You" | TV Contributor, News 12
By the time you get home from a full day’s work, carpool the kids to hockey and ballet, feed them dinner, help them with their homework, check on your aging parents, schedule all your husband's doctor appointments, and complete the guest list for your committee fundraiser, once again you find yourself knocked out on the bed with your clothes on wondering, "Where did the time go?" Do you long for the day you no longer feel stretched in what feels like five million and one directions?
The first thing to realize is that trying to control time is a futile endeavor. However, what you can do is get clear on your priorities which will make it easier to set some healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries creates space to take care of ourselves and honor what is important to us.
The three key things you can ask yourself to ensure you get that "Me" time in and find some balance are:
1. What do I value? My peace, growth, well-being.
2. What will I need to do? I value my well-being, 'so I will need to say "no" by trusting my gut when "yes" doesn't feel right.
3. How will I honor this? I will honor this by remembering "no" is a full sentence and remaining true to myself when there is external pressure.
Setting boundaries is a form of self respect that in turn teaches others to respect you. Remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup. For all those people who are feeling depleted, resentful and depressed because they are so busy saying "yes" to others without taking the time to give to themselves, you may have heard the old flight analogy: You have to put your oxygen mask on first before you're in any condition to help others, whether it be your kids, your parents or hubby.
In the book "Sacred Success" by Barbara Stanny, a woman recounts this new-found understanding of the importance of setting boundaries and making herself a priority. "I now understand the difference between taking care of myself because I am resentful enough to do it, and taking care of myself because it is essential."
Making time for yourself is not selfish but "selfull."
– Iyanla Vanzant